


Never Had

by Kittyrocket1



Category: Hunger Games Series - All Media Types, The Hunger Games (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Sexual Content, based on a movie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-04
Updated: 2017-07-04
Packaged: 2018-11-23 04:08:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11395038
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kittyrocket1/pseuds/Kittyrocket1
Summary: Katniss and Peeta at their Ten Years High School ReunionInspired by the movie "Ten Years"





	Never Had

**Author's Note:**

> Hello lovely people, this is my very first story and I'm really nervous! I would like to thank Courtney @shesasurvivor for being my mentor and helping me with plot issues and encouraging me. I want to thank the lovely ladies of @loveinpanem for giving me the push I needed to start writing with their New Author's Month.
> 
> This story is based on a movie called "Ten Years", specifically in the story of Oscar Isaac and Kate Mara, if you've watched it, you may recognize some lines and the general plot.
> 
> Lastly, I apologize for any typos or if you find some odd sentences here and there, english isn't my first language.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading!

**2007**

Annie had begged her to come with her to the swimming competition between their team and another high school. She had a new boyfriend from the opposite school and she wanted to see him _“Swimming in all his swimmer-body glory_ ” she said with a dreamy look on her face. Katniss rolled her eyes when she heard it, but even she had to admit that he was actually very good looking, even more so with water dripping all over his toned body. But as soon as the competition was over, she almost run out of the gym, shooting Annie an apologetic smile. It was Friday and she wanted to get home soon.

Katniss walked to her car, enjoying the crisp autumn air, even if it made her shiver on her light coat and yellow flats. She cursed her obsession with the shoes, but she loved them too much and took every opportunity to wear them. It had been the last item that her dad bought her before dying and she loved having them as a daily reminder of him.

She rummaged through her purse, looking for her car keys, but finding her cigarettes box first. She took it out and grabbed one, lighting it and taking a long drag, enjoying the sensation. It was a filthy habit, but it was something she enjoyed too much to quit.

She had started after the dead of her father, almost a year ago, when she found her mother sitting on the porch in the middle of the night. Katniss had woken up thirsty, when she saw her mother’s silhouette outside. She walked out to ask her if she was ok when she saw the cylinder between her fingers. Her mother looked up and without any questions, she lifted the box and offered her one. Now they shared a smoke every now and then, enjoying a comfortable silence between them.

Katniss had moved to Twelve with her mother and little sister at the beginning of her junior year, almost a year ago, after her dad died of a heart attack. Her mother couldn’t stand being in their old town anymore, deciding it would be good for her and the girls to breathe another air, meet new people and start again, plus her older brother lived nearby. Katniss was against it at first, not being a big fan of change, but seeing the way her mother had started to look healthy again, and her little sister was happy to be near her cousins, it made the moving a little easier. Even when she left someone important behind.

She was reaching her car when she heard footsteps approaching “Katniss!” she heard a deep voice calling her. Her body shivered and her heart skipped a beat when she turned around and saw him jogging to her. It was annoying, this reaction of hers to him, to this boy. Her stomach flipped and her heart clenched because she shouldn’t be feeling this way. Not with him.

Peeta Mellark had been her classmate on physics since junior year, sitting behind her on every class. He was impossibly bad at it and she made sure of telling him. But the guy had a way of turning all her snarky remarks on a joke that made her fail on her attempts of scowling at him. He was funny and well liked between their classmates. He had deep blue eyes and curly blonde hair that was under a dark blue beanie most of the time, and always with an easy going smile on his face.

Katniss had been a bit reluctant of becoming friends at first. She had left her boyfriend behind in her old town, but they still kept a long distance relationship. Which was a pain in the ass if she was honest, she missed him so much that sometimes when they talked on the phone they ended arguing because of it, because they hadn’t seen each other for so long that they couldn’t even talk about something that wasn’t their relationship and lamenting how far away they were. Katniss felt that she and Gale were slowly deteriorating, but they tried anyway, she loved him and he loved her too.

Which was why being friend with Peeta wasn't the best idea. They had a way of communicating that she had never had with Gale. Peeta was an attentive guy, he noticed when she was in a foul mood and tried to make her smile in class at least once. They also saw one another at the occasional party, joking about their inability of drinking keg beer and secretly sharing a bottle of some peach liquor that Peeta stole from his house. She wondered how he could bring a full bottle of something without going noticed, but once she asked, he just shrugged and served her another drink.

They had fun, they laughed and lately, they had developed the habit of greeting each other with a handshake that made her tingle from head to toe. It had begun innocently enough, she confessed him once that didn’t liked to hug people and preferred a handshake but people often assumed that it was ok to touch each other without permission, and that pissed her off. So Peeta had started to shake her hand instead, an odd gesture to most of their friends, but an endearing one to her.

Little by little, Katniss had started noticing things about him, like they way he got excited telling her a story from his brothers or a new song he had heard. He loved music and arts and was trying to educate her on classic rock bands. Katniss liked the way he made gestures with his hands when he talked and how his eyes shone form every emotion that he was trying to convey.

One afternoon, they met at the library to finish an assignment, she noticed that he had calloused fingers and even some small injuries, so she reached for his hands, without even thinking. He turned sharply to her, eyes wide. She realized her actions and tried to act nonchalantly, asking him what he did to get those.

“I’m learning to play guitar” he answered, she retrieved her hand from his and folded them on her lap. He cleared his throat “I’m not very good” he said in a self-deprecating way.

Katniss looked at him, lifting her eyebrows. “Don’t let that stop you, if you want to play, you shouldn’t quit because you’re not good at first” she said. Peeta gave her a shy smile and kept working. She caught him looking at her from time to time, but decided to ignore it.

 

Now, in the parking lot, she couldn’t stop all the emotions running through her, so she gave him her best smile. “Hey, Peeta” she greeted him, taking a smoke of her cigarette. Peeta trusted his hand and she shook it.

“Hey” he smiled at her “Are you going already? Some of us are going to Delly’s house, why don’t you come?” he said in a rush. Katniss crooked an eyebrow at him, amused. Peeta flushed deeply and shook his head, laughing a little, he took a deep breath and asked her again “Would you like to come?”

Katniss liked Delly, she was the first student to greet her, and showed her around school. She had gone to a few of her parties, but the fact that Peeta was asking her to go, made her stomach twist in guilt. She wanted to go, but she knew she shouldn’t

“I, ah…well I can’t” she said. Peeta visibly deflated, his shoulders sagging a little.

“Oh, yeah of course, you must have something to do, right? Like…talk with your boyfriend or something” he looked at the ground, stuffing his hand on the pocket of his hoodie. Katniss finished her cigarette and stomped her yellow flats against the stub. Peeta looked up again, seeing that Katniss hadn’t answered yet. “You guys are still a thing?” he asked her, his blue eyes looking right to her.

Katniss cleared her throat. This was uncomfortable, she had a boyfriend who loved her, back at her old town. But here, right in front of her, was the funniest guy she had ever met, he was sweet and smart and right now, she was melting at the sight of his curls peeking out from his beanie, the way his hoodie wrapped around his shoulder and the perfect fit of his jeans. His smile now was more cautious. She hated that deep down, she knew how he felt, but she couldn’t do anything about it, she had a boyfriend. _She had a boyfriend_ she repeated like a mantra.

“Yeah…he was going to call tonight” she answered. She felt restless, she needed to breathe or a cigarette to calm her down. She took another one from her purse, lightening it fast, taking a long smoke. Peeta kept looking at her, his eyes showing her a different emotion she couldn’t pick. He blinked a few times, smiling at her again

“Well, can I walk you to your car while you burn your lungs?” he teased. Katniss nodded her head, walking slowly next to him. “Have you seen him lately? Your boyfriend?”

“No, he’s working at his dad store, saving money for college” she said. It was the discussion they had every time they talked. He wanted them to go to the same school and live together, something Katniss wasn’t so sure anymore, if she had this feelings for the person walking next to her, she thought their relationship wasn’t very strong. Or she was a shitty girlfriend, that was the thing that made more sense now, but she couldn’t admit it yet.

“Where are you going to college?” he asked her.

“I haven’t decided yet…but not so far from here” she said “I have the feeling I’m one of those really nostalgic students who are going home every weekend” she smiled. He was silent, just walking and nodding his head. She couldn’t see his eyes or his face. “What about you?”

Peeta shrugged “I don’t know, maybe I’ll go to New York with my brother” he said. She knew his older brother lived there, working as a lawyer and making a lot of money. “I would like to explore my options before making a decision, you know?” he turned to look at her, his demeanor serious. Katniss stopped walking, they had reached her car.

“Yeah, that’s-that’s a good choice” she stammered. Why was she so nervous all of the sudden? “This is my car” she pointed lamely to her old green car. She threw away her cigarette and scratched her neck nervously.

They stood there, in front of her car looking at each other. She felt a rush of longing, but she quickly drowned it, she couldn’t feel this way, she was not going to break anyone’s heart with her stupid reactions. _It must be just stress or hormones_ , she tried to convince herself. She shivered, feeling all her emotions running through her veins. Peeta took off his beanie suddenly, reaching her and putting it on her head. Katniss looked at him, startled by his proximity. He looked at her with a similar expression, like he couldn’t believe himself.

“Oh, I’m sorry” he whispered, his hands still on the beanie. He slowly let go of the garment, his hands going to her hair, caressing her tresses between his fingers. Katniss heartbeat was fast now, her eyes wide, looking at him. “You look cold, this should help” he said softly, his hands now resting on her shoulders, squeezing her lightly. She shivered again. He wasn’t that much taller than her, so his mouth was in level with her forehead and she could feel his warm breath fanning on her face.

“Thank you” she whispered. They were so close, she could count the freckles on the bridge of his nose. She noticed that his eyelashes were long and lighter than his hair. She looked up to see that his curls were pointing everywhere, the static giving him a funny look. Unconsciously, her hands darted right to his hair, trying to smooth it down. She heard his sharp breathe intake. That took her out of her trance , her eyes widening at how close and intimate they were, leaning to each other, a magnetic pull between them.

She should stop, take her hands off his hair and get in her car. But she couldn’t move, she kept running her hands through his curls. Peeta took a deep breath, moving his hands from her shoulders to her waist, grasping her lightly.

“Katniss…” he whispered, his eyes now hooded. She closed her eyes and shook her head, her hands reaching the curls at the base of his head, her fingers caressing his neck. She felt him shudder. His body heat was making her dizzy, her mind focused on him, his smell, his skin, so soft under her fingertips. The way his mouth was only inches away from her was driving her crazy too. “Katniss” he tried again, squeezing her waist. She leaned on his chest, pressing her cheek against it, feeling his strong heartbeat beneath. She tried to calm herself, breathe in and out, willing her heart to slow down.

“I’m sorry, Peeta” she apologized, it seemed like the right thing to say. But sorry for what? For not going to the party or for having a boyfriend? She added “I’m sorry that I can’t go to Delly’s”. His hands slowly went to her back, pressing her against him, she lowered her hands from his neck and grasped his shoulders. This was all she could give him, a hug, nothing else. She had a commitment.

“It’s ok…don’t worry” he whispered, his hands caressed her back, entwining his fingers through her hair. They stood like that for a few seconds, feeling each other, their breathing and warm body heat. She felt his scent, like a soft cologne and clean laundry. There was something else too, a smell she couldn’t pinpoint. She supposed that was his natural smell, it made her bury herself closer to him. _No_ , she couldn't do this, _what was she doing?_ It wasn’t fair for anyone. She felt her throat tighten with guilt, her stomach giving her something close to nausea.

She took a shuddering breath and looked up, trying her best to smile at him and not break at the sight of his sad, deep blue eyes looking down at her. He gave her small, lopsided smile, shrugging his shoulders. They released each other, an understatement passing between them.

“I should go” she said. Peeta just nodded his head, looking down and stuffing his hands on his hoodie, a rush of wind messing with his curls again. Her hands reached her head to take off the beanie, when Peeta looked up and took a step back, putting his hands in front of him

“No, please, just…take it, it’s cold. Just bring it back on Monday, Everdeen” he said with a teasing tone. She placed it down her head again and turned to open her car. She thought of getting in and take off speeding through the parking lot as fast as she could. But she turned and looked at him.

“Have fun at Delly’s” she said, trying to lighten up the mood.

Peeta shook his head, giving her a sad smile. “I hope he knows how lucky he is” he said, and turned around to leave. Katniss remained there, looking at him walking away from her. She swallowed a lump through her throat. She was stressed, that was it. And she needed to be alone for a while. That was _it_.

She got to her house after an hour and a half of wandering around the town, eating ice cream and chain smoking at a park. She had to do something, she couldn’t do this to Gale, her boyfriend who loved her so much that wanted to be with her in a few months, saving to get an apartment together. And she couldn’t even convince herself of calling him. _What kind of girlfriend am I?_

She parked her car and reached for her purse, taking out her silenced cellphone, she winced thinking of the amount of missing calls she was going to see, after ignoring it completely since leaving the swimming competition. To her surprise, there was nothing there. _Weird,_ she thought. Fridays were the day when Gale got out of work early and called her for almost an hour each week.

She got out of her car and reached her door. As soon as she opened, she saw him, sitting on her couch with Prim. _Gale._

He turned to look at her, his expression loving and bright, grinning from ear to ear at her. He stood up fast and walked to her, cradling her face between his warm hands and lowering his mouth to her, kissing her for the first time in months. Her arms reached to his shoulders and she felt her heartbeat pick. She distantly heard Prim sighing. She broke the kiss, looking at Gale for the first time. She smiled to him, looking at his handsome face. His eyes were soft and his smile big, she hadn’t seen him this happy in a long time. She started to laugh and reached to hug him, he pressed her against him, lifting her of the ground playfully.

“What are you doing here?” she asked. He let her go, rubbing his hands up and down her arms.

“I missed you, so I got here, we have dinner reservations by the way” he replied. He then looked up, to her head. Katniss felt her stomach drop. _The beanie_. He frowned a little, but his expression was amused “This is new, I didn’t know you liked this color” he said, reaching for it. Katniss ripped it from her head, throwing it to the couch quickly, before he could touch it or ask more questions about it.

“I missed you too” she said. And it was true, seeing him brought up all those repressed feelings she had. It was hard being long distance, she missed him so much that she tried to drown all her love for him. Gale caressed her hair and she closed her eyes, leaning into him, hugging him hard and pressing her cheek on his chest, feeling his heartbeat. This was what she needed, to see her boyfriend and to trust her love for him. After all, Peeta was just a classmate.

_Right?_

 

**2017**

 

The sun was just setting when Katniss killed the engine in her car, parking in front of Hotel Panem. She reached for her purse on the passenger seat and rummaged inside it, looking for her small mirror and her lipgloss. She checked her makeup, just some eyeliner and a light mascara on her long eyelashes, which gave her a “ _mysterious look_ ” as Prim said. At twenty eight, she knew how to dress and apply a decent amount of makeup to look good. But tonight she was feeling like she was a teenager all over again, so she had to FaceTime her little sister to get a thumbs up on her looks.

She took a deep breath and got out of the car, the chill autumn air making her take a deep, invigorating breath. She locked her car and smoothed the length of her long sleeved dress.

“Ok, you can do this” she said to herself, locked her car and walked to the big shiny glass doors of the Hotel.

She greeted the doorman with a tight smile and walked to the salon, were some music and laughter could be heard. She opened the door and was greeted by a loud shrill coming from a blond woman sitting behind a desk. Delly, as bubbly as ever, stood up, showing her big rounded belly and walked quickly to give her a tight hug. As tight as you can with a pregnant belly in the middle

“Oh my god, Katniss! I thought you were not coming I’m so glad you did!” she broke the hug and gave her a sweet, honest smile. She looked the same she did in high school, clear blue eyes, rosy cheeks and long blond glossy hair that now was a few shades lighter at the end. “You look hot!” she said looking at her outfit, her lips rose in a sneaky grin “Did you come by yourself?”

“Yeah, just same ol’ me” she said, a little uncomfortable with the way the blonde was smiling at her. Delly nodded and handed her a name tag “Thank you, you look lovely by the way” she said pointing at her belly. Delly smiled and shook her head.

“You look beautiful, Katniss…I’m sure he’ll notice you right away” Delly clapped a hand over her mouth immediately. Katniss frowned in confusion

“Who will notice me?” she asked.

“Anyone would” Katniss froze in place, her eyes widening. Delly was looking at her with a similar expression. She slowly turned around, facing him for the first time in ten years. _Him._

“Peeta Mellark” she smiled at him. His hair was a little longer, curling at the sides and almost reaching his shoulders, a light beard covering his angular jaw. He looked good, he was a few inches taller and bit wider on the shoulders. He stepped closer to her and thrusted his hand, she looked at him and grinned at the gesture. She shook his hand firmly, feeling his warm and calloused hand envelop hers.

“It’s been a long time” he said and looked her in the eyes, both of them just smiling at each other. Delly coughed lightly, breaking the trance between them. They turned to look at her, she was smiling deviously at them.

“Peeta, is good to see you, here’s you tag” she said while reaching him, rubbing the sticker on his jacket. He gave her a short hug, murmuring something in her ear that made her chuckle. “Go on guys, the party is over there” she pointed to where people mingled around, drinks in hand, laughing and talking.

Peeta walked next to her “So, Katniss, how are you?” he asked. They walked to the bar, while several of her old classmates turned around to look at them. Well, look at him to be more accurate.

“All good” she answered. He just nodded his head. After a few seconds of silence she realized she hadn’t asked him a thing “And, um, how are you?” He smiled at her and opened his mouth to answer when a woman stepped right in front of them, a bright smile on her face. Katniss thought she looked familiar but couldn’t exactly recall her name.

“Hi, Peeta! I don’t know if you remember me, but we had some classes in common in senior year” she said brightly, not even once looking at Katniss “I just wanted to know if you would take a photo with me?” she asked, smiling at Katniss for the first time while passing her a phone. Katniss took it, while fighting the urge to laugh at the situation. Peeta looked at Katniss for a fraction of a second with a perplexed expression and then turned to look at the woman with a kind smile, nodding his head.

“Sure, no problem”

Peeta placed his arm around the woman shoulder and smiled at the camera. Katniss bit her lips all the time, trying not to laugh at the almost maniac expression of the woman, she was grinning so widely it was a miracle her face wasn’t split in two.

Katniss gave her the phone back and the woman quickly took it and turned to Peeta again “Thank you so much! You know, “Never Had” is one of the most beautiful songs ever and it’s in like, my top ten of my favorites ever, ever” the woman gave him an awkward half hug and for the first time smiled apologetically at Katniss.

Once she was out of reach, Peeta cleared his throat “I’m so sorry” he apologized. Katniss just waved him off and kept walking, trying to find a table for them.

“Don’t worry” she said and pointed at a table with empty seats. As soon as they were seated, another woman reached for Peeta, begging for a picture. This time Katniss did laughed a little, specially at the embarrassed expression on Peeta’s face after the woman planted a kiss on his cheek in the moment Katniss pressed the camera icon on the phone.

 

“Hey, do you have a cigarette?” he asked her after the woman left. Katniss nodded her head and stood up, walking to the back doors. She felt Peeta’s hand on the small of her back, her stomach was doing backflips at the sensation.

 

They walked out to the patio of the Hotel, there was a row with bushes and lights around them, giving it a festive light. There were some benches along the way too. They walked side by side, enjoying the light breeze.  
Katniss reached for there purse and took the box out, reaching for one cylinder before passing it to Peeta.

“Ah no, thank you” he laughed at the look Katniss gave him

“You just asked me for a smoke!” she laughed, Peeta shrugged and looked at her in the eyes

“I just wanted to talk to you” he confessed. Katniss smiled and felt herself blush, hoping that he didn’t noticed. She looked for a lighter and lit the cigarette, taking a long smoke and exhaling with a satisfied sigh. Peeta laughed “How long since your last?”

“Too long apparently” she said, taking another drag, she hated that she missed it so much “Must be a couple of years, actually”

“Really? You used to smoke like crazy!” he said. She just smiled at him, enjoying the silence of the garden while they walked “Why did you have a box now anyway?” he asked

“Just woke up this morning and had a feeling I would need a smoke at some point” she answered.

Peeta nodded his head “You know, I’ve never even smoked a cigarette in my life” he said. Katniss stopped and grabbed his arm, looking at him and trying to see if he was laughing or something

“Are you serious? How is that even possible, I thought you were a rockstar!” she said

He laughed shortly “I’m not a rockstar, just…I play the guitar and I’m lucky enough that people actually like what I sing”. He cleared his throat “So…how’s Prim?” he asked.

Katniss immediately smiled. “She’s very good, on med school and engaged” she said, she still couldn’t believe how her baby sister was engaged. Peeta’s eyes widened and he let out a short, disbelieving laugh

“She’s getting married? Wow, time does fly” he mussed. He looked at her, the smile on her face too wide to hide from him “You’re happy for her, I see”

“Of course I am, she’s my baby sister…I was a little worried at first, that she was too young but…after seeing them together, everything made sense” she said. Peeta took her hand and led her to a bench in front of a water fountain. They took a seat, keeping a minimum distance between them, their tights touching, knees bumping.

“And what about you? Are you seeing someone?” he asked

“No” she whispered “You?”

“No” he said. Katniss nodded her head and bumped her shoulder against him

“I’m sure you have lots of fans out there, girls trying to get on the bus and stuff” He laughed and shook his head

“It’s not like that…sure, there are “ he squinted his eyes a little, hesitating. “enthusiastic fans, but just that” he clarified.

“Come on” she laughed “I love your songs, like “Never Had” is my faaavorite song ever” she said, trying to talk like the woman from the hotel.

“Oh yeah?” he followed the game “Your favorite song, really?” He smiled at her and then looked down, kicking a pebble with his boot “It’s really crazy that so many people like the song, I wrote it in like two hours and barely made it to the album” He looked at her again, but Katniss just nodded her head and scratched her neck absently, looking down. Peeta laughed suddenly “You’ve never heard it, right?” Katniss bit her lip and closed her eyes, trying to hide her mortification

“No…I’m sorry! but I’m sure if I hear it I’ll recognize it right away” she admitted “I’m not much of a radio girl…mostly talk radio/sports kind of girl when I’m on my way home from work. You know…I was vaguely aware that you were a musician, I’m not so connected with our classmates so I don’t know much about anyone”

“It’s cool, really” he said “That means that you were one of the few people in there that talked to me because of who I was and not who I am now. And you gave me the courage to keep playing, so I should be thanking you" he smiled at her so brightly that for a moment she was back at that parking lot ten years ago, flustered and nervous.

Katniss felt herself blush under his stare “I didn't do a thing...but I would love to see you play” she said “It’s ridiculous that I haven’t heard you”. Suddenly, she realized how close they were from each other. Sure, he was single and she was single, but still…he was a musician, barely even in the city and touring all around. And she was just an old classmate, a boring lab technician with little social life. She squared her shoulders and stood up.

“We should go inside, it’s kind of cold”  
____

The room had a lot more people now. There were panels with photos of the class and there was people looking at them, pointing and laughing at their teenager years. They both walked there and started to look at their classmates, ten years younger. Most of them were of the popular circle, the cheerleaders, the sport guys. Every now and then they would find a photo of Peeta and his friends, he was well liked but not exactly Mr. Popular back then. He had a few photos, his hair shorter, jeans, loose t-shirts and his dark blue beanie. He groaned almost as in pain when Katniss pointed at one where he was holding a guitar, in the back of a photo of the three most popular girls back then.

Finding Katniss on the other hand, was another task.

“I’m sure you’re here somewhere” he assured, looking up and down the panels next to her.

“It’s like I’m not even part of this promotion!” she said, shaking her head at him. Peeta just winked at her and kept looking.

“Ah! there you are!” he exclaimed. Katniss moved next to him and indeed, there she was, out of focus and almost blurry, stepping out of a classroom while the main people of the photo were making funny faces at the camera.

“Oh my god, you found me!” she smiled at him “Look at those shoes” she laughed. She was wearing a black t-shirt, jeans skirt and bright yellow flats. “Oh, I loved those shoes, I wore them all the time…almost forgot about them” she said, reaching to caress the photo with a finger, smiling to herself.

“I know, I remember those” Peeta murmured. Katniss turned to look at him, a different guy than the one from the pictures, but he had somehow remained similar. The same kind eyes and easy going smile that made her weak on the knees.

“You know, if someone had told me back then that in ten years I was going to be at one of these things, I would have laughed in their face” Peeta looked at her, a slow smile spreading on his face.

“How come you’re here then?” he asked her. In that moment, Finnick jumped right behind them, scaring them both.

“Yooo Peeta, Katniss!” he screamed, obviously a little drunk “We’re going to Haymitch’s bar” he said “And you better come because the bar is ours tonight!” he slapped Peeta hard on the back and kept going to the next group. Peeta winced and looked at her expectantly. He reached to touch her arm.

“You want to? Go to Haymitch’s?” he asked, his hand rubbing her arm up and down

She looked at him, feeling a warm sensation spreading through her body by the simple gesture “Lead the way” she answered with a smile.

 

When they got to the bar, Peeta offered to buy her a drink. She nodded eagerly, he nerves were making her think too much. Did she read everything right? Was he interested? Was she interested? She wasn’t a one night stand kind of girl.

Her last boyfriend ended things because he got promoted to another city and their relationship wasn’t that old or strong enough to continue. She wasn’t heartbroken about it and often wondered what did that mean. Her last significant boyfriend had been Gale. _That_ had been a heartbreak. After moving together, they lasted three more years. They were happy, but Katniss realized that both of them had changed too much. She was focused on her career, she wanted to help her mom so she could work less and get some rest, travel or whatever she wanted to do. As a nurse, she had worked long hours to get her and Prim to college and she wanted to lessen the burden. Gale resented that she was so focused on work and so little on them, but he was just the same. At some point they realized that they were more like roommates who every once in a while had sex to relive tensions. There was no romance, no time or motivation to go out or talk, and there was no projection either.

At twenty three, Katniss went back to Twelve, to live with her mother while she got on her feet. Gale stayed at the apartment, claiming that he wanted a shot with someone who actually cared about him. It took them years to talk again and find a point were they didn’t resent each other for their failed relationship. She knew he had gotten engaged recently and was very in love with the girl. She felt a wave of sadness the day she found out, one that made her stay in bed, wondering if she was ever going to have that kind of love.

Now, at twenty eight and looking at Peeta Mellark at the bar, buying her a whisky sour, she wondered again. She thought he was being nice with her in sake of their high school friendship. But she couldn’t help to remember that moment almost ten years ago, the only significant moment between them that made her feel something so intense, that she almost broke up with Gale. At the time, she thought it was the stress of college looming so near, or the fact that Gale wanted to move in together. Back then, she decided to blame all that interaction on nerves, and it stayed like that for a long time. But this morning, when she opened her eyes, she stayed a little longer in bed, thinking about it, trying to remember what had happened and if it had been real.

She recalled the day she gave him back his beanie, that Monday after spending the weekend with Gale. Before she could reach him, she got intersected by a girl who lived next door to her, asking her who was the hottie that was with her that weekend. She looked at Peeta, mere inches away from them, and noticed the moment he heard the girl. His shoulder sagged a little and he turned without looking at her. She felt nauseated, but did what she did best, push the feeling down and keep her head up high. At the end of the day, when they were on physics, she turned around to give him back the beanie, hoping to chat a little. But he barely smiled at her and accepted the damned hat without a word, turning to his note book to write something on the edges.

It was safe to say that after that day he avoided her like the plague. She could only find comfort that high school was almost over.

Still, this morning, she couldn’t help but remember all those feelings. And with the way Peeta was acting around her, she wondered again, had it been real?

Peeta came back, taking her out of her thoughts. Instead of sitting in front of her, he gestured her to move a little and he seated right next to her, handing her a glass.

“Thank you” she said. Looking around she watched her classmates going up the stage for a round of Karaoke. The first one on stage was Clove Daniels, who was widely cheered by the public. Katniss cringed when she heard the first words of “ _I’m not a girl, not yet a woman”_.

“Britney has better songs, come on” she muttered. Peeta chuckled next to her. They laughed behind their hands at the high pitched tones that Clove was singing, most of their classmates clapping loudly at her.

“Oh my god, that was…something” Peeta chuckled when the song ended. Katniss kept smiling at him and enjoying her drink and a warm feeling spreading through her limbs. If it was the alcohol or the proximity of Peeta’s body, she couldn’t tell. She kept looking at him, while he was focused on the stage in front of them. Suddenly, she remembered something.

“Didn’t you date Clove?” she asked him. Peeta’s eyes widen and he took a drink of his beer, turning to look at her. She giggled at his expression “You did! In the last months of senior year, right?”

“Ah, yeah” he sighed “It wasn’t that long, honestly, we broke up after a month or something” he shook his head “She was pretty intense back then…” he trailed off. He leaned a little on her, bumping his shoulder with hers “What happened to your boyfriend? The tall guy you were dating forever?” he asked her. Katniss pursed her lips, reaching for her drink, taking a sip.

“We moved in together and lasted until I turned twenty three” she took a deep breath “It wasn’t pretty when we broke up, we both said a lot of nasty things. It took us years to be civil again, but now we’re ok” she said, finally looking at Peeta “He’s engaged now, to the most _“amazing woman in world”_ as he told me the last time I saw him” Peeta frowned, shaking his head, he moved his hand next to hers on the table, grabbing her fingers.

“I’m sorry to hear that” he said “But you-“

“Peeta!” Finnick screamed on the microphone from the stage, once again interrupting them. Peeta turned to look at him, a slightly annoyed tone on his voice.

“Yes, Finnick?”

“They have _Never Had,_ dude, they have your song!” he screamed. Loud hoots were heard around, asking him to go up and sing it. Peeta turned to look at Katniss, she smiled at him, pushing him off the seat.

“Please, Peeta, I’ve never heard it before” she pleaded. Peeta closed his eyes, shaking his head at her. He opened his eyes and leaned to her ear.

“You owe me, Everdeen” he whispered to her. Then he stood up and walked to the stage, while people around him clapped and cheered. He climbed to the stage, the initial notes sounding on that awful karaoke-like tone. He shook his head and grinned.

“I’m sorry, I can’t do it” he said “It’s very weird to sing this on karaoke” he explained while people cheered him. He then looked at the owner behind the bar “Haymitch! Do you have a guitar back there?” he asked. The older man gave him a thumbs up and produced a guitar from under the bar. People clapped as a waiter handed Peeta the instrument. He took a seat and started tuning the guitar.

“Ok, here it goes”

The initial notes were sweet, like a ballad. Katniss focused her attention on him, the way the lights of the stage gave him an angelic look. He looked good up there she realized, natural and relaxed. He leaned to the microphone, eyes closed and started singing.

 _I've been gone for so long now_  
_Chasing everything that's new_  
_I've forgotten how I got here_  
_But I'm not forgotten you_  
_We were just children but our eyes opened and_  
_You were all that I could see..._

 

Katniss eyes were glued to the stage, taking in his posture and his voice, sweet and little raspy. He kept his eyes closed, focusing on the song and taping his foot on the stage. She took her glass, swinging a little on her seat with the rhythm.

 

 _Through the good times and the bad_  
_You were the best I never had_  
_The only chance I wish I had to take_  
_But there was no writing on the wall_  
_No warning signs to follow_  
_I know now and I just can't forget_  
_You're the best I never had..._

 

At this point, she could hear her classmates singing along with him, she looked around and saw them nodding their heads, some of them recording on their phones. Annie and Finnick were sitting at the bar, she was hugging him from behind while Finnick tried to sing. Katniss chuckled and saw more people getting close, it was a pretty romantic song and his voice was beautiful. She looked again to the stage and startled a little when she noticed that Peeta was looking right at her.

 

 _In this motel_  
_Well passed midnight_  
_When I'm bluer than a bruise_  
_You come drifting in through the half light_  
_In your funny yellow shoes_

 

Katniss almost dropped her glass. Did he say _yellow shoes_? Was that for _her?_ His big hit, romantic as fuck song was for her? Her heart pounded hard on her chest, she put the glass back on the table and covered her mouth with her hand, hiding her perplexed smile. Peeta kept his eyes focused on her, now a little smirk on his face.

 

 _And I hope that's you standing at my doorway_  
_That's the scratching of your key_  
_And I hope this song I'm singing_  
_Someday finds you_  
_Wherever you may be…_

 

She felt enraptured by him. _He remembered her, he wrote a song for her._ She kept looking at him, so many questions going on her head.

 

 _Through the good times and the bad_  
_You were the best I never had_  
_The only chance I wish I had to take_  
_But there was no writing on the wall_  
_No warning signs to follow_  
_I know now and I just can't forget_  
_You're the best I never had_

 

He finished the song with a loud clap from the public. He did a little reverence and handed back the guitar. He looked again in Katniss direction, giving her a small shrug. She kept smiling, she could feel her cheeks hurting, but she could’t stop. She took a deep breath when Peeta finally reached her and seated next to her.

 

“So that’s your big hit?” she asked nervously. Peeta looked at her, a bashful smile spreading on his face.

“That’s my big hit” he said. Katniss let out a disbelieving laugh, leaning to him.

“I thought…I thought you didn’t remember anything about me” she whispered.

“Really?” he asked, looking at her pointedly. Katniss felt her cheeks flush.

“Well, there was that moment…at the parking lot after that swimming competition”

“Yeah, I remember that moment” he said with a hint of sadness on his tone.

Katniss looked at him, wincing a little bit “I got scared, I had a boyfriend…” she trailed off. Peeta just shook his head and leaned into her.

“And are you scared now?”

She chuckled “A little bit…God, it was so long ago, I didn’t think you’ll remember anything about it” Peeta leaned to her ear, his breath making her shiver slightly

“I remember everything about you, Katniss Everdeen” he whispered "I told you that you were a big part on my career" he smiled at her. Suddenly, Katniss felt her chest tighten, this couldn’t be. It was just a song, right? Not a love confession. She needed air. This was too much.

“I should go” she said. Peeta distanced himself from her, trying to look her in the eyes, but she kept her eyes on the table, fidgeting with a napkin.

“Ok, I’ll walk you out”

They reached her car in silence, Katniss hugged herself against the cold air, trying to control her breath, her heart pounding hard on her chest.

“Again, a parking lot” Peeta joked when they reached her car. She let out a nervous chuckle.

“Where do you live now? I didn’t ask you before” she said. Peeta leaned against her car, facing her.

“I don’t really live anywhere, right now I’m pretty much on a bus or a plane all the time” he answered. Katniss nodded her head and stepped forward, a resolution on her mind. She reached for his cellphone that was tucked on his jacket pocket.

“I’ll put my number here, so you can call me when you’re around and …we can hang out or something, grab a drink” she said. She handed him the phone back. Peeta quickly shoved it back on his pocket and grabbed her hand, tugging her toward him, reaching to run his hand on her cheek, caressing her. She took a shuddered breath, closing her eyes and leaning onto his touch.

“It’s not a good idea, Peeta” she whispered. He got closer to her, pushing away from the car. She could feel his warm breath fanning on her face.

“Why? You’re single, I’m single” he said, his other hand reaching for her waist “Just…would you give me a chance, Katniss?” he asked her. Katniss eyes opened and she looked up. Peeta’s face was mere inches away. Had she heard right? She frowned.

“You want a chance with me?” she asked. Peeta licked his lips, his eyes focused on her mouth for a second and then darting up again, to look at her.

“I do” he whispered back, his right hand making small circles on her lower back, his left hand caressing her neck “I want to get to know you again and try my best to make you smile” he said "We have waited long enough". Katniss watched him closely, looking for any trace of doubt, but his expression was resolute and honest. She felt her walls starting to lower. Could she do it? He was looking at her, with open, vulnerable eyes. And she was sure she was looking at him the same way. It was too much. She shook her head and took a deep breath, ready to say goodbye and continue with her life. This was never going to work, she new it and he knew it too. She took a deep breath, when his index finger lightly pressed against her lips, silencing her.

“Don’t say it yet, please” he whispered. She released her breath and closed her eyes, leaning onto him. She debated with herself, her body was betraying her by leaning more on Peeta, she had to run if she wanted to forget about this.

But did she tough? Could she let him go afterwards? Could she left all those feelings behind?

Peeta ran his fingers trough her long hair, pushing a strand behind her ear “I’ve dreamed about how soft your hair felt that day” he said lowly. Katniss felt his breath coming closer to her, her skin breaking in goosebumps, his proximity making her body tingle from head to toes “I’ve thought how your skin would feel” he continued his journey, making every inch of skin burn with his touch. Katniss shivered and opened her eyes when he touched her lips, slowly running a finger trough her bottom lip, releasing a shaky breath “And how soft your lips would be” She opened her eyes, looking at him, his eyes were now a dark blue, intense and full of desire and longing. She lifted her hand and caressed his chest, fisting his shirt and closing the distance between them, once and for all.

With a broken gasp, she poured herself on that kiss, into all the pent up tension between them. She let herself go kissing him, and it felt amazing. His soft, full lips caressing hers. His hands were around her waist, on her back, on her neck, everywhere he could reach, he was touching her. Her tongue darted out slowly to trace his lips, making him groan softly. She smiled a little against his mouth, satisfied with herself. He released a sudden breath trough his nose, smiling through the kiss too. Katniss felt his hand cupping her jaw and she opened her mouth wider, pecking his upper lip and running her tongue through it. Peeta’s tongue licked her lower lip and she gasped softly, releasing his lip and joining her tongue with his, caressing it and feeling the sweetness that was so unique of him, tasting his scent with the underlying bitterness of hops. It made her clench her tights, his warm body was making her delirious. His smell was intoxicating too, bringing back the exact moment she smelled him for the first time at that parking lot- like cologne, clean laundry, and something else too, a delicious smell that was purely Peeta. _Finally_ , Peeta.

She could have been kissing him for minutes, hours maybe, but the sound of an obnoxious drunk laughter coming from the bar, stopped them. With a last peck on her upper lip, he broke the kiss to look at her in the eyes, searching for something. She smiled at him and wrapped her arms around his waist, he clutched her to him.

“How long are you staying in town?”

“I’m leaving in two days” he answered. She smiled and looked up. She wanted to know more about him, she was not ready to say goodbye yet. Not after that kiss.

“Why don’t we go for some coffee? I would like to know what else you remember about those years” Peeta grinned at her, leaning to give her a short kiss and rub his nose with hers.

“Lead the way” he replied.

 

**6 months later…**

 

Katniss felt a warm sensation spreading through her body, waking her up slowly. She was in a cocoon of blankets, guarding her from the chill morning air. She rolled onto her back and stretched her body, making her joints crack slightly. She felt a shift on the bed and a heavy arm was tugging her back on her side, a warm kiss placed on her neck. She sighed and turned around to look at him.

His eyes were still closed, but she could tell he was awake. She got closer to him, rubbing her nose against him.

“Morning” she whispered. His eyes opened slowly. She smiled at him, enjoying the warm sensation on her body, the feeling that his deep blue eyes always gave her. Like those rays of sunshine in the middle of the winter.

Peeta buried his face on her neck, making her squeal when she felt his breath tickling her. She tried to push him away from her to look at him, but he tugged her closer and refused to look up at her.

She chuckled and absently scratched his bare back. She felt him shudder and his hands took hold of her hips, rubbing circles on her skin, making her sigh with pleasure.

“Peeta” she tried again. He grunted and rolled her on her back again, accommodating himself between her legs. He pushed himself up on his elbows, encasing her. Instinctively, her legs locked around his waist. He looked at her and smiled slowly, leaning down to kiss her sweetly. Morning breath be damned, she kissed him with fervor, their tongues meeting and caressing without hurry.

He broke the kiss “Not yet, please” he pleaded. She bit her lip while looking at him. His disheveled hair, naked torso and raspy, sleepy voice was an image that she buried deeply in her heart and mind. An image only for her, not to forget, but to remember constantly. The reminder that he was hers.

It took them a while to perfect a schedule to see each other, but after the reunion, they knew that whatever was going on between them, needed a chance.

She had a regular job, Monday to Friday, from 9 to 5. But after being in the same company for years, she applied for a raise. It gave her more responsibilities, but flexible hours and she decided when to do all the reports. So she took every opportunity to work late and save some precious hours to travel to see him.

It also helped that his manager happened to be their biggest fan, claiming that a relationship that had waited 10 years to bloom (and the source of Peeta’s big hit), needed all the help in the world, so he booked her flights whenever they wanted.

He was at his best moment. The second album was on production and he did a show every two nights on different parts of the country. It was a crazy arrangement, but they made it work. Between hotels, Skype sessions and phone calls, they were going steady. For the first time in her life, Katniss was living the moment and enjoying it. Her mother was delighted with Peeta, so was Prim, who couldn’t believe it when Katniss called her two days after the reunion to tell her how they had reconnected.

It was Prim’s wedding the occasion that had them together now. Katniss was the maid of honor and Peeta was her plus one.

He got off the plane and went directly to a venue were he was going to play. Katniss couldn’t escape from work to see him, so she met him at the Hotel and smiled to herself while knocking on his door. It wasn’t the first time they recreated the lines of his song in real life, but it never ceased to amaze her that Peeta greeted her with the same adoration every time.

Prim was going to kill her if she was late, but it was getting considerably difficult to extract herself from the arms of her boyfriend. He was nuzzling her neck, peppering it with kisses and soft bites.

“Please don’t leave any mark” she whispered and felt Peeta chuckle against her.

“I won’t, but please don’t leave this bed yet” he murmured. She felt the vibrations of his voice rumble against her skin, making her moan, which made Peeta groan and move his mouth to her chest.

She felt his moist breath against her, making her nipples pucker. She kept caressing his back with her right hand, feeling his muscles. Her left hand traveled to his hair, feeling the soft curls tangle around her fingers, putting him closer to her. His lips kissed her nipple, lavishing it with his tongue, making her moan and arch her back against his mouth. His glorious, talented mouth. He shifted to her other breast, biting her teasingly. She gasped at the feeling, rolling her hips against him.

His right hand slowly made its way between her legs, searching for her throbbing clit, circling it with his calloused fingers. She gasped and felt his erection pressing against her thigh. She moved her right hand between their bodies to grasp it, but Peeta grabbed her hand, pinning her to the bed.

“Let me” he growled, moving his mouth to her other breast, he tugged it slightly with his teeth “I need you” Well, she wasn’t going to discuss it.

His hand between her legs kept rubbing circles on her clit, occasionally caressing her lips, gathering the moisture and curling his fingers inside her. She was moaning loudly at the feeling, by now he was an expert on how to make her have a quick orgasm. He bit her nipple and then licked it with his hot tongue, pushing her closer and closer to the end.

“Peeta” she whispered, he thrust his hips against her, seeking some relief too “Peeta, please” she moaned. He raised his head from her breast, giving her a perfect view of his hooded, lusty eyes and his slightly swollen lips. “I need you too” He groaned and sealed his mouth to hers, kissing her with abandon. She moved her hand between them, grasping his hot erection, pumping him a few times and guiding him to her entrance. He moved his fingers from her and pushed his way inside her, both of them gasped at the same time.

“Katniss” he whispered. He moved slowly, making her feel every inch of him, in and out. Their ragged breaths and moans filing the air on the hotel room. She moved her hands to his ass, grasping him and encouraging him to go faster. He bit his lip and pumped harder on her, making her groan loudly. She felt herself clench around him, she was getting close.

Peeta moved his hand to her clit, rubbing tight circles on it, while his mouth went to kiss on her pulse point.

“That’s it” he whispered. She planted her feet on the mattress, raising her hips to meet his thrust. Peeta lowered his mouth to her right nipple, sucking it on his mouth, while his hand kept rubbing desperate circles on her. His hips started to pick up rhythm, signaling he was close too. With one last thrust, she felt her insides clench and her back arched up, a low groan escaping from her. He kept pumping for a few seconds while she gathered her breath. She felt him tense up his back muscles, she squeezed his ass and felt him moan against her neck, his hips pushing hard against her. He collapsed on her, breathing hard. She relished on the feeling of his weight on her, locking her legs around his waist, keeping him close to her, while rubbing her hands on his back.

With a groan, he pushed himself off her, rolling to lay beside her, grasping her hand and raising it to his mouth, placing a kiss on her knuckles. She turned to look at him, his eyes were shinny and a sated smile was plastered on his face. She leaned to kiss him sweetly on the lips, then pecking him on the nose “We need to shower” she said. Peeta chuckled.

“Yeah, we do. Wanna go together?” he suggested wiggling his eyebrows playfully. She wiggled her eyebrows back, grinning at him. She pushed herself off the bed, stretching her arms above her head. She turned to look at him, gloriously naked and looking at her at awe.

“I never get tired of looking at you” he said. Katniss blushed, feeling warm all over her body, even with the cold air from the open window. Peeta smiled when he noticed her red cheeks and stood up too, circling his arm on her waist “I love that you blush after a compliment, even when we just had sex” Katniss rolled her eyes and took his hand, dragging him to the bathroom.

He turned on the shower while she brushed her teeth, stealing glances at his toned body through the mirror. He stood behind her, hugging her while she rinsed her mouth. She looked up, watching their reflection. Both of them with a serious case of sex-hair and flushed bodies. She turned to look at him in the eye. So deep and blue, full of emotions that he couldn’t hide from her.

“I love you” she whispered.

Peeta leaned to kiss her sweetly. “I love you too” he said “I know it’s hard being apart, but when I see you, it’s all worth it” he smiled. She hugged him, peppering his neck with kisses. She felt him sigh “And your body next to mine, it’s the best feeling in this world”

They showered, enjoying the few moments of peace before the wedding. As they got dressed, they kept stealing kisses and touches. It was always like that, every time they got together, they took all the chances to be together.

Katniss didn’t know what the future would be, but as long as it had him next to her, she was sure they would make it work. It wasn't in vain that they waited ten years to be together, they were made for each other.

**Author's Note:**

> Song: Never Had https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6uljQuVXuMM
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> Tell me what you think, leave a comment! 
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> I'm @feelingjane on tumblr, let's talk :)


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